DivineWellness

Do you know what drives you? What your values are?

 

I remember when I was going through training to become a Coach we did an exercise to determine what our core values were. I was surprised by what come through.

 

My values weren’t anything I put much thought into before that point. I knew what I thought was important: honesty, living with integrity, and being kind to others, but I never knew exactly what they were. 

 

During the exercise we went through a list of values, picked 5, and labeled them from the most important to least important. After we did our exercise I remember looking at my piece of paper and being surprised by what was on there. It was not at all what I expected. My end result was: freedom, happiness, mature love, spirituality, and a world of beauty.

 

Over the years I have done this practice a few times, especially when there is a big life change, to help me recenter myself in my life. And although they don’t change very much, I’m still surprised by what comes us.

 

So, what is a core Value?

 

Core values are the beliefs that we hold most dear to us. They light that fire under our butt when things are happening, and keep us going. They help determine what we do by telling us what our overriding priorities are, and what we hold ourselves accountable to based on how we believe is best for us.

 

When we look closely at our core values we may realize why we are leading our life the way we are. In some cases, it can shock us to learn what we hold true to our hearts. Often, they differ from what we are told we should value.

 

Where does a core value come from? 

 

Values can come from anywhere. Our first set of principals are instilled in us at a very young age. They come from our families, our communities, even the shows we watch on tv. These principals can become so ingrained in us, that most of the time we move forward without putting much thought into it.

 

However, sometimes as adults we realize that what our parents prioritized most may not be exactly what we prioritize for ourselves. This realization can be a shock to the system at first and can feel like we are betraying the most important people in our lives. But that isn’t true. Everyone lives their own lies, and having a shift in your priorities can be caused by many things: a big change in your life, self-realization, or even a change of heart. 

 

It’s paramount that we take the time to get clear with ourselves on what we really values in our life, or we might run the risk of living for someone else, instead of ourselves.

 

Why are core values important? 

 

As I stated before our values determine what we think is important in our lives. It’s the lense we view our life through and in turn this affects how we live, how we spend our time, and what direction we take our lives. 

 

When we start to get really clear with ourselves on what we prioritize it can be groundbreaking and uncomfortable. Living based on someone else’s values can be exhausting. It’s almost like walking on eggshells your whole life, never knowing if you’re making the right moves. As a result, you’re not living in alignment with your real self; your authentic self and this can create a lot of unnecessary discomfort and suffering. 

 

I know for me, when I was spending my life based off what I thought others wanted me to do, I was uneasy and I didn’t know where I was going or what I was supposed to be doing. I felt like I was trying to please everyone around me, and as a result I was making myself miserable. It caused a lot of disconnect between where I was, and where I wanted to be. However, after I got clear on who I was, and what they key parts of my life were, the pressure I put on myself eased and I was finally able to breath again.

 

How do you decide what your core values are? 

 

Your core values can only be determined by you. It can take some time, and some life experience to really determine what is most important to you. It’s paramount to remember that your core values and priorities can change throughout your life too. 

 

Ivf you’re looking for a way to narrow down your own values, this is a practice that I use often:

 

Ask yourself: 

• What are the most important things in my life?  

When you think about your life, what things do you normally put first above all 

others? Are you a family person? Do you spend most of your time on your passions?

• What do you admire in other people? 

We often model ourselves after what we see in other people. When you see someone on the street, what do you notice about their character? Are they kind? Honest? Compassionate? 

• What were you taught was important as a child? Are those things still important to you as an adult? 

Our first values usually come from what our parents taught us. Think back to what you were told as a little kid, a teenager, or even a young adult. Do those values still resonate with you?

 

Make a List: 

 

Now, take the time to make a list of the values you have had throughout your life, and the values you have now. After you have your list, take a moment to pick out your top 5 values, and list them from most important to least important in this moment. 

 

After you have your list, reflect on these questions: 

 

• Define each of your values 

All words have a dictionary definition, but here it’s important to get really clear on what the word means for you and to you.

 

• How do each of these values show up in your life? 

For instance, if your top value is family, what do you do to support your family? Are you the kind of person to drop everything to be there for them? Explain how each of your values affects or shows up in your day-to-day life. 

 

• How can you live more in alignment with your values? 

No one is perfect and sometimes we forget to live with our values in mind every day. How can you incorporate more of your values into your life? 

 

It’s important to be really clear and honest with yourself throughout this process. Afterall, your values are yours and yours alone. No one can decide what’s important for you. 

 

To learn more about your values and dig deeper into this process, join me in a 4 week coaching program Rediscovering Self where we will dive deeper into our core values and how they are affecting your life.